“Everything happens for a reason”. I’m sure if you had a dime for every time you heard that you would be rich. And yet, there seems to be this unspoken understanding amongst people to respond in some sort of platonic and philosophical manner. Whether it’s a slight nod of the head, or a response like, “you’re absolutely right.” However sometimes in the heat of the situation it’s difficult to understand what that actual reason is.
We’re busy. I mean that in both a physical and mental way. Our day to day lives make us constantly on the go. We’re programmed from culture, society, personal experience, to “go, go, go.” In fact, not only do we pride ourselves on being multi-taskers, but a lot of times we are rewarded for it. The problem is we all become so busy that when the Universe is talking to us and sending us signs, we don’t always listen, and pay attention. So sometimes the Universe has to use extreme forces and bring out the figurative sledgehammer to get our attentions.
A couple of years ago I was in this car accident. However I think I should preface this story by going back a couple of days. I was going through this horrible break up that lasted WAYYY longer then it should have. (I was young what can I say?) And I’m not talking like a bad break up where you eat a pint of ice cream, cry yourself to sleep, and all is well a few days later. I’m talking like the mother of all bad break ups. The holy grail of heartwrenching, jaw dropping, oh my god I think I might die break up. I was completely depleted, depressed, and had loss all hope. Finally one night the last straw had been set on the camels back and I had lost it. I got in my car and just drove all night. Crying, screaming at the Universe for putting me through what it had. There was absolutely no reason for the cruel and horrible torture I had been suffering. I wondered if the Universe had forgotten about me, wondered if the Universe even cared about me. Fast forward to a day in a half later, I got in a car accident. I was driving down the interstate, there was black ice, I was on a bridge, and there was a semi in front, next to, and behind me. I hit a patch of black ice and spun completely out of control. I had no way of regaining control of my car. I was just waiting to hit something or someone. I remember at one point my car had spun backwards into the next lane and I was staring dead at the truck driver who was next to me. Although at this point my front was facing his front as I was driving backwards. I’m sure it only lasted a few seconds, but I swear it felt longer and I could see the look in his eyes. I finally hit the guard rail on the side of the bridge. The car finally stopped. I was in utter shock. I was literally a couple feet from where the guardrail ended and the drop-off from the bridge was open. A few feet more and I would have gone off the bridge. I wasn’t hurt, not a scratch on me. Luckily, I didn’t hit anyone even though I was surrounded by all those trucks. And finally it hit me- My not so quiet conversation with the Universe less than the 48 before… it was answering back. Hitting me, (and hard) with its sledgehammer. Telling me that I was not alone, and no I had not been forgotten. And if I’m being completely honest I feel that the Universe was telling me that I better have a little respect because my life could be taken at any moment if it so desired.
Did this accident happen for a reason? As crazy as it sounds, I believe it did. Because life is not some mere roll of the dice, but rather, a woven tapestry of experiences of great significance. Every event we have is important, from the most inspired and enlightened to the seemingly unexplainable, or incomprehensible. Unfortunately as humans we don’t really have a good perspective on the “big picture.” Sure some are better at seeing it than others, but for the majority of us we have to practice, stop and really think about how everything is connected. If I wouldn’t have been in that accident right after my huge meltdown, I wouldn’t have known if the Universe was really there, and paying attention to what it was doing. That accident re-affirmed my belief, which in turn made me believe that what I was going through with my ex had a purpose. Years later, looking back I could tell you exactly what that purpose was, what I learned, and how better off I am for it. Sure it was hard, and it sucked, and yeah I could have lived without some parts. But overall, I needed all of it (the relationship, the grueling break-up, the accident) to all happen. Because who knows what kind of person I would be today if all that didn’t happen? It all happened for a reason.
You might be a little skeptical, which is okay, but think about this: by believing that everything happens for a reason you are consequently avoiding blaming others and yourself. Blaming yourself or someone else only makes the situation worse. It NEVER fixes the situation.
Imagine for a moment that you 100% believe everything does happen for a reason. No matter how big or what the problem is, it’s all for a purpose. Now how do you feel? For me, I feel calmer, lighter even, knowing that I am part of some bigger plan, the criticism, the negative emotions they are all diminishing. Try it, I think you will agree.