Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tearful Goodbyes and Days Before the Big Day!

Tearful goodbyes is what consisted of this past weekend.  A bunch of my friends came into town to have one last night of  festivities before I leave. I had a blast, and it was so good to hang out with them. I couldn't ask for better friends. I'm really going to miss them, but it helps knowing that they support me fully. I have 4 days until I leave, and I think I have felt feelings about the situation that I didn't even know exsisted. Tomorrow I am going to continue packing (which by the way I am failing miserably at by procrastinating hugely) I am going out tomorrow night with a really good friend for drinks and dinner. (It will be our last time hanging out so another tearful goodbye here I come) Then the weekend will be filled with last minute errands and spending as much time with the family as possible. I can tell that me leaving is already taking a toll on my mom and I know that day at the airport is going to be really hard for her, which in turn, is going to make it really hard on me.
Not much else to say really...overwhelmed with emotion. It's weird... when I'm excited the days seem to go by soooo slowly, but in those moments of nervousness and anxiousness they couldn't go by quicker. Here are pics from my farewell night with my friends. :-)

                                                             Love these people!!!!!
                   Love these guys.... even though they drive me crazy sometimes. :-)

My crazy friends and roomates in college

Monday, September 20, 2010

"The Unknown"

"The Uknown," he's a scary demon that sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. He tells me you don't know what you're getting yourself into, you won't know anyone or anything, and you most certainly don't know if you can hack it. Now in order to have balance in life there usually has to be an opposite side to everything. A yin to every yang, a positive to every negative, and an angel to every demon. With my demon being The Unknown, my angel is Ambition. Ambition, well, he's much kinder, and he fills me with desire for personal achievement, motivation, and determination to fulfill my lifelong dream.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher, and around the age of 15 I decided I not only wanted to teach, but teach abroad, specifically in a developing country. Therefore, it only made sense for me to apply for the peace corps proceeding graduation. Never once have I contemplated my desire to be a teacher, and never once have I questioned my dream of teaching abroad. However, I am sad to say my demon, The Unknown, is seriously weighing on me while he's sits there on my shoulder.  You see, he's the worst for me because I'm the type of person who likes to know whats coming next. I like to be prepared, and I like to know what is expected of me.  My biggest fear is not living up to my full potential. And how am I suppose to be my full potential when my future in the PC is about as clear as mud. That is why right now my demon is filling my head with thoughts and my angel is pushed into the back. Right now The Unknown is winning. 

Nevertheless, I will keep preparing for my journey, I will say goodbye to the comfort of familiarity, and I will get on that plane and head towards the unknown. I will face that demon straight on and tell him... to kiss it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Little Bit of Everything

Well its been awhile since I've posted something so I thought now was as good of time as any. I am starting to make my mini trips to see friends before I leave, and I catch myself saying and thinking things like, "This is the last time I will be visiting you in Chicago for two years!" or "This is the last time we are going to be able to go here together for two years!" It is verryyyy slowly ALL starting to sink in. I have exactly 4 weeks before I am boarding the plane to head to staging, and between now and then I have so many things to do. My mind is constantly running 24/7 whether its on which clothes I'm going to get the most use of, or how I'm ever going to manage to pack everything! Here is what I've been thinking about and doing currently and probably will until I leave:
 *visiting my friends in Chicago, Indianapolis, and Purdue
* Making my mom my power of attorney
* Trying to work out as much as possible in deep fear that I'm just going to gain it all back plus more when I move to Samoa
* Updating my address/phone book (which by the way is not as easy as it seems considering that my friends are all in the "in between  stage," of their lives where they are moving from college to the "real world" and don't have permanent addresses yet.)
* I have been meeting fellow Group 83'ers via email, and I'm so excited because they all seem great!
* Have a small obsession with reading all info on Samoa including others PCV's blogs and am considering therapy.
* Attempting to pack (which really means throwing my stuff in a corner and saying, "yeah I'll take that and make it fit later."
* Eating spaghetti like it's my job... I think my stomach knows it will be deprived of this wonderous food for a long time.
* Just bought an awesome backpack for the trip.
* Have been considering the irony in the fact that the two things that make me nervous, storms and dogs are the two things that are very common and fierce in Samoa. That should be fun to overcome!!! Not.
 * I will be missing my dads 60th birthday, my sisters 21st birthday, and 3 weddings. Not happy about this AT ALL. :-(
*Wondering where in the world I'm going to find a Samoan to English translation book!!!??? Any ideas anyone?

Alright well that's pretty much whats going on with me. 28 days and counting. :-)

L.   <3